Remember, it's mind over matter: if you don't mind, it don't matter!!

Blue Moon reveries and the sound of unfinished business. Still, even unfinished, often content. Like now, sitting cross-legged in this striped armchair, not thinking about time.

My love shared this nice thing with me: "Time is an insult to the present, mockingly saying that over there and then is somehow better or more important than this now," -Bucky Fuller. Don't know who Bucky Fuller is, except that the name sounds likely to have fit somebody, at some point, and I'm apt to think he may have been worth talking to. Something about Rubik's cubes comes to mind...?

Well, then. Just thought I'd process here for a moment. It's been a while since I have, and in the backwards way that most things are, much has happened in the 'down time'. For starters, cuz you know I'm a lover of lists: my lovely grandma has cancer in the form of tumors all over her organs; last weekend i drove a round trip of 24 hours to see my brother for 8, in a sort of family reunion after five years of blind silence on both sides; my mother must deliberate over the question of whether or not she'd be willing to lose her uterus, to beat the wicked odds; another brother--seen more often than the other, and yet further from my heart than anyone else i love--unexpectedly gives enough of a shit to work our issues out, all of a sudden, after several years of bitterness wasted, and the unexpected joy that arises from a once more normal conversation...; my great love, sending me off but left behind in an acidic mixture of willingandunwillingness; another brother's first baby, still just barely on the way, and coming full speed ahead into a life where you're not there; new place, new people, new priorities popping up in every which way and going any direction allowed; old faces, appear and disappear in mind's or mine-own eyes; exhaustion, sometimes, and endless study-sessions, too; the aches and pains of refusing to grow any more than absolutely necessary; gratitude, whenever one can remember to feel it...

Sheesh, it always happens like that. After the list, we realize just how much we're up against (and for), and realize that just the process of naming the things, and getting them out there... It's more than enough to relieve the soul of its shiny burdens. I hope i don't sound too dry--i love everything, really-truly.

Faretheewell folk,
-Talthea (9/19/09!)

1 comment:

Mary Drake said...

I think Bucky Fuller has something to do with bucky balls but that is something that Jacob could better expound on. And to me, your soul is shiny and your burdens dry and hollow. Upon further tests my uterus is allowed to continue to reside in my body.